Roommates
My roommate's partner basically lives with us. Should they pay rent?
Updated By the Housing Rocket moderators
Short answer
If a partner is staying most nights, it is fair to ask them to contribute, usually toward utilities and shared supplies, or a share of the rent once they are there most of the week. Also check your lease, because many limit how long a guest can stay before they count as an occupant.
An extra person uses the shower, the kitchen, the heat and the internet, and makes the apartment more crowded. Asking for a contribution is reasonable. Raise it with your roommate, not the partner, and base it on facts rather than feelings.
Ways households handle it:
- A flat monthly amount toward utilities and supplies once the partner is over more than a few nights a week
- A rent share, if they are effectively living there, worked out the way many households split rent for couples
- A cap on overnight stays that keeps it a guest arrangement
Look at your lease too. Many leases say guests who stay longer than a set number of days must be approved or added. If the partner has really moved in, the landlord may need to screen and approve them, and an unapproved occupant can put the whole household in breach of the lease.
Start with something like: "I like having [name] around, but they are here five nights a week now and the bills have gone up. Can we talk about them chipping in?" Then write the result into your agreement.
Want the whole picture? Read How to Find a Roommate You Can Actually Live With.